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Colonoscopy

from Blame It On The Dog by Deb Seymour

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about

A little song about growing older and learning to let things go.

lyrics

Colonoscopy
© 2014 by Deborah B. Seymour

I’m sitting in the bathroom as calm as calm can be
Stirring funny powders into my herbal tea
The night will be a long one…at least it will for me
For I’m getting ready for that little word that starts with “c”

Colonoscopy, colonoscopy
A modern rite of passage that’s finally come to pass
Colonoscopy, colonoscopy
All that I can say is it’s a big pain in the…

They’ll lay me on the table and put me in a gown
Feed me funny drugs to divest me of my frown
And when the doc comes in she will smile and say to me
“Bottoms up, my dear: this first round is on me!”

Oh Lord, make my insides will be perfect, my insides clear
No polyps to be seen, no mis-dividing cells to fear
Oh Lord, if you get me through this upside-down exam
I promise I’ll never eat red meat
Drink, smoke or swear or eat sugar…or chew gum…
I’ll adopt stray puppies and kittens
And even give chocolate...

credits

from Blame It On The Dog, released February 4, 2022
Deb Seymour: lead vocals, guitar
salamandir: tuba
Thaddeus Spae: trombone
Howlin' Hobbit: ukelele
Sketch: washboard
Alicia Healey: backing vocals

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about

Deb Seymour Seattle, Washington

Whimsical & wacky, Seymour's off-beat subjects, clever turns of phrase and all-encompassing musicality are reminiscent of Christine Lavin, Tom Lehrer, and Tenacious D. Seymour has four CDs of original work out and live, tours and streams regularly

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